Radioactive Shrimp Served on Bourbon
A radioactive Walmart shrimp allegedly linked to the recent recall was seen late Friday on Bourbon Street, reportedly glowing, hammered, and attempting to pick a…
News
Traffic Camera Revenue Collapse Leaves City Hall Searching for Next ATM
New state laws limiting how traffic cameras can be used and forcing revenue-sharing on school zone tickets are projected to cut city income from $19.6…
Official City of New Orleans Seal Gets Brief, Brief, Brief Makeover
The City of New Orleans announced a new seal yesterday morning, unveiling a design meant to “modernize and reflect the city’s spirit.” By late afternoon,…
Major Shitstorm Warning Issued for Southeast Louisiana Ahead of Katrina’s 20th Anniversary
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) today issued a Major Shitstorm Warning for Southeast Louisiana, as an abnormally large hurricane anniversary has formed in…
Following Indictment, LaToya Cantrell Admitted Into Louisiana’s Elite Leadership Program
New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell has officially been accepted into the Louisiana Political Leadership Master’s Program, a rigorous, immersive experience designed to prepare rising public…
Pole-Wielding Apparitions Caught on Camera Wandering Lafreniere Park at Night
Paranormal investigators are turning their attention to Lafreniere Park after multiple reports of “high-heeled shadows” and faint echoes of Pour Some Sugar on Me were…
Lack of Soothing Gunfire Sounds Causes Insomnia in Ex-New Orleans Transplant
New Orleans has always been a melting pot for strays from other cities looking for fun, excitement, and acceptance. The city is full of transplants…
Report: Sheriff Susan Hutson Now Leading in Key Demographic of People Who Don’t Watch The News
A new poll conducted by the Gulf Institute of Selective Awareness shows New Orleans Sheriff Susan Hutson gaining strong support from a crucial voting bloc:…
New Research Indicates The Gulf is Getting Warmer Because KEVIN Won’t Stop Peeing in It
Scientists have discovered that the Gulf of Mexico is getting warmer, and they’re pretty sure they know why: one man’s pee. The man in question…
Sidney Torres, Troy Henry to Settle French Quarter Garbage Dispute with 1-on-1 ‘Trashketball’ Game
With both the companies of Sidney Torres and Troy Henry now contracted to collect French Quarter garbage, city officials say trash won’t pile up, but…