In what feels like the latest chapter in an all-too-familiar saga, portions of the Crescent City went dark last night due to yet another bizarre mishap affecting Entergy New Orleans’ power grid. This time, the culprit wasn’t a mylar balloon or an errant squirrel that caused the Entergy outage—it was Santa Claus himself.
Witnesses report that Santa’s sleigh collided with power lines during what appeared to be a trial run for his annual Christmas deliveries. The impact knocked out power to several neighborhoods, leaving residents scrambling for flashlights and holiday cheer. While Entergy crews were able to restore power hours later, questions about the grid’s vulnerability once again took center stage.
“We’re reviewing the incident to determine how to mitigate risks from… unconventional threats like this,” an Entergy spokesperson said. “But let’s be honest, no utility is prepared for reindeer-related outages.”
The spokesperson may have been aiming for humor, but many residents aren’t laughing. Entergy’s reputation for frequent outages has been a sore spot for years, with critics pointing to aging infrastructure and inadequate maintenance. Whether it’s balloons, birds, or now, apparently, Santa, the power grid seems to have a knack for being knocked offline.
Neutral Ground News Santa sits on the curb as crews address the latest Entergy outage, allegedly blamed on his sleigh’s collision with power lines.
“Santa hitting the power lines? Sure, it’s funny until your fridge full of groceries spoils,” said one frustrated Bywater resident. “At this point, it feels like Entergy’s grid could be taken out by a sneeze, a determined mosquito, or the mere thought of bad weather. An Entergy outage is like clockwork here.”
Meanwhile, several reindeer are reportedly in critical condition following the collision. Meanwhile, several reindeer are reportedly in critical condition following the collision, though the extent of their injuries remains unclear. Santa has yet to comment on how this might impact Christmas deliveries. It’s also unknown what contingency plans the North Pole has for such situations, though some speculate Mrs. Claus might need to put the elves through an expedited sleigh-pulling training program.
Animal welfare groups also have called for an investigation, though Entergy maintains they are not liable for injuries sustained by airborne livestock.
As holiday decorations flicker back on and residents shake their heads at the latest Entergy outage debacle, some are left wondering what it’ll take for the city’s only Fortune 500 company to secure the grid against the next inevitable mishap. Until then, Crescent City residents may just want to add “spare generator” to their holiday wish lists.