News

Report: 750,000 king cake babies abandoned every year

A new study has revealed a disturbing trend in New Orleans that shows king cake babies are being deserted by their parents in record numbers….

Hilary Clark

Team physician mercifully puts down New Orleans Saints after months of suffering

Tsvetoslav Hristov

Assume all ‘firecracker sounds’ is gunfire says New Orleans’ new crime fighting campaign

geralt

Santa shot in CBD, New Orleans postpones Christmas to February

New Orleans man prepares for 'Arctic Blast small talk - Neutral Ground News

Don Kiebels

Locals strongly advised to stock up on verbal supplies for ‘Arctic Blast’ small talk

Don Kiebels

Saints fans start petition to change the name of Champions Square

New Orleans set to celebrate Halloween for 109,563rd day in a row

Brando Price

New Orleans set to celebrate Halloween for 111,211th day in a row

Nathan Wright

New Orleans City Hall earns Guinness World Record title for “largest house of horrors”

Night Out Against Crime - New Orleans news - Neutral Ground News - New Orleans crime

Don Kiebels

Night Out Against Crime in New Orleans starts off with a bang, bang, bang

Long-time Louisiana weatherman Jay Roberts was accidentally strangled to death today after he got caught in the 10:00 am ‘spaghetti model’ forecast for Hurricane Delta and couldn’t get out. “It was like something out of a science fiction movie,” said cameraman Bryce Peebles. “He was giving his report for the Noon broadcast, using the Accu-Weather Double Doppler Realistic 3D Projection Radar, and I guess he got a little too close. He accidentally fell back into the green screen, and he... just kept going.” A source at WAAP-TV said Roberts got his legs caught in the European ECMF ‘spaghetti‘ track and tried to pull himself free by grabbing onto the NHC ‘spaghetti‘ track. But that track got tangled around his arms and he couldn’t reach the edge of the probability cone. “He fell further in, and either the NOAA track or the UKMet track got wrapped around his neck. There was nothing we could do,” said the source. Fellow Louisiana weatherman, Neil Bleu, was devastated by the news. “This is so tragic. If it had happened with the 4:00 pm spaghetti model, Jay would have survived. The tracks were much closer together and further to the West.” With the news of Roberts' unexpected passing, Bleu predicted an 89% chance of showers streaming down the faces of the station's viewers this evening through Sunday. He also predicted a 60% chance of Roberts’ wake on Monday, with burial either Tuesday or early Wednesday, depending on what happens with that upper-level high coming in from Texas. A legendary Louisiana weatherman, Roberts found immense popularity through his "tell 'em what they want to hear" approach to reporting the forecast that viewers found comforting. He would take an online poll before every broadcast and basically went with whatever got the most votes. "The truth can be so harsh, and who needs that these days? There's so much bad and fake news today that people just want to hear good news and Jay gave it to them," Bleu commented. "Jay's forecasts may not have been right 60-76% of the time, but, hey, that's the life of a meteorologist."

Don Kiebels

Beloved Louisiana weatherman dies in freak “spaghetti” accident

Long-time Louisiana weatherman Jay Roberts was accidentally strangled to death today after he got caught in the 10:00 am ‘spaghetti model’ forecast for Hurricane Ian…

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