Locals gear up to ignore New Orleans Pelicans season, ready to ‘do it big’

Sammy Williams

With 82 NBA games on the horizon, locals are gearing up to completely ignore the 2021-22 season for the New Orleans Pelicans.

“Uh, again?” Mid City resident John Landry said as he blocked a phone number on his smartphone coming from the Pelicans ticket sales office. “Didn’t they just have a season?”

Though, after wrapping up the preseason with a 765-61 loss to the Utah Jazz, the team appears primed for a breakout year as they enter the regular season and may change the minds of a local or two.

“I really think we opened some eyes and dropped some jaws,” poor new coach Willie Green said, whose surprising squad (1-3) ranked a commanding #1 in yawns per game during the preseason.

League experts have pegged the Pelicans as the team to beat over and over and over again this year, a team that has convincingly advanced to the NBA offseason eight times in the last 10 years.

“Oh yeah, just about everyone should beat them [Pelicans],” NBA Insider analyst Adam McCreary said. β€œ(Executive vice president of basketball operations) David Griffin has done an incredible job building an annual contender for the offseason. As far as I see it, the Sacramento Kings might be the only team out there that can challenge them. It’s really a two-team race at this point.”

Third-year star player and growing face of the franchise Zion Williamson is excited to get started on a season.

“I believe in this team and what we can do,” Williamson said, glancing down at a team-provided talking points list. “It’s going to be an exciting year with a lot of basketball, so be sure to purchase your 3-game, 10-game, 12-game, half-season, or full season ticket packages today by going to w-w-w dot New Orleans Pelicans dot com and let’s do it big. Flip page over. If asked, do not answer any questions about your injury or a timetable for your return.”

The New Orleans Pelicans begin the defense of their offseason crown on October 20th at 7:00 p.m. against the Philadelphia 76ers at the Smoothie King Center.