Locals gear up to ignore New Orleans Pelicans season, ready to ‘do it big’

With 82 NBA games on the horizon, locals are gearing up to completely ignore the 2021-22 season for the New Orleans Pelicans.

“Uh, again?” Mid City resident John Landry said as he blocked a phone number on his smartphone coming from the Pelicans ticket sales office. “Didn’t they just have a season?”

Though, after wrapping up the preseason with a 765-61 loss to the Utah Jazz, the team appears primed for a breakout year as they enter the regular season and may change the minds of a local or two.

“I really think we opened some eyes and dropped some jaws,” poor new coach Willie Green said, whose surprising squad (1-3) ranked a commanding #1 in yawns per game during the preseason.

League experts have pegged the Pelicans as the team to beat over and over and over again this year, a team that has convincingly advanced to the NBA offseason eight times in the last 10 years.

“Oh yeah, just about everyone should beat them [Pelicans],” NBA Insider analyst Adam McCreary said. “(Executive vice president of basketball operations) David Griffin has done an incredible job building an annual contender for the offseason. As far as I see it, the Sacramento Kings might be the only team out there that can challenge them. It’s really a two-team race at this point.”

Third-year star player and growing face of the franchise Zion Williamson is excited to get started on a season.

“I believe in this team and what we can do,” Williamson said, glancing down at a team-provided talking points list. “It’s going to be an exciting year with a lot of basketball, so be sure to purchase your 3-game, 10-game, 12-game, half-season, or full season ticket packages today by going to w-w-w dot New Orleans Pelicans dot com and let’s do it big. Flip page over. If asked, do not answer any questions about your injury or a timetable for your return.”

The New Orleans Pelicans begin the defense of their offseason crown on October 20th at 7:00 p.m. against the Philadelphia 76ers at the Smoothie King Center.