Team Physician Mercifully Puts Down Pelicans After Years of Suffering
The long, agonizing struggle for the New Orleans Pelicans is mercifully over. Team officials announced the squad was euthanized early this morning after battling several…
Articles by Don Kiebels
Desperate Crawfish Asks for Public’s Help with Missing Persons Cases
A desperate crawfish is asking the public for help to find several missing friends and family. Four days after every single friend, family member, and resident…
New Study Finds 9 Out of 10 New Orleanians Have a Personal Vendetta Against a Specific Pothole
A groundbreaking new study from Tulane University’s Department of Civic Trauma has confirmed what many New Orleanians have known for years: nearly every resident holds…
New Orleans City Council to City Employees: Pre-game on Your Own Dime
In a sobering turn of events, the New Orleans City Council has officially banned the use of taxpayer dollars for alcohol purchases during work travel,…
Gov. Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order to Rename Louisiana as “Landriana”
In what officials are calling “a bold next step in personal brand governance,” Governor Jeff Landry has signed an executive order to officially rename the…
Southwest Airlines Offers Mayor Cantrell Spokesperson Role for ‘Wanna Get Away’ Fares Amid Travel Ban Fight
After successfully blocking the City Council’s attempt to ground her travel habits, Mayor LaToya Cantrell has reportedly caught the attention of Southwest Airlines, which sees…
New Orleans Mardi Gras Parades Officially Downgraded to “Festive Gathering Near a Float” Due to High Winds
Despite high wind warnings, City of New Orleans officials have announced that Mardi Gras parades will still roll, but in a modified, safety-conscious, and wind-resistant…
Jefferson Parish Cancels Mardi Gras Day Parades, Citing High Winds; But the Real Threat? The Dark Forces Summoned by ‘Deep Gras’
(JEFFERSON PARISH – NGN) Officials in Jefferson Parish have announced the cancellation of all Mardi Gras Day parades, citing “expected high winds” as the official…
New Orleans City Council Asks Mayor Cantrell for 5 Bullet Points, Gets Auto-Reply
The New Orleans City Council emailed Mayor LaToya Cantrell requesting five bullet points detailing what she accomplished last week. Instead of a response, they received…
Confederate statues allegedly thrown during Mardi Gras parade
Whoever threw Confederate statues during the Krewe of Lushes parade last night is in big trouble and subject to a lifetime ban, according to a…