(JEFFERSON PARISH – NGN) Officials in Jefferson Parish have announced the cancellation of all Mardi Gras Day parades, citing “expected high winds” as the official reason. However, sources confirm another ominous force may be at play—people who keep recklessly uttering the phrase ‘Deep Gras’ like it’s some kind of ancient Latin spell.
“We’re not saying saying it caused this,” said one local observer, “but every time someone types it out, the skies darken and the wind picks up. At this point, it’s just science.”
With Jefferson Parish taking swift action, all eyes are now on New Orleans, where city officials have yet to make a decision.
When reached for comment, Mayor LaToya Cantrell’s office responded with an auto-reply, stating: “The Mayor will respond on tomorrow, as we continue moving forward in a way that best serves the people of New Orleans.”
Our NGN Cantrell Translator™ says this roughly translates to: “I’ll deal with this after the effects of last night fully wear off.”
For now, the fate of New Orleans’ Mardi Gras Day parades remains unclear, but one thing is certain: if we don’t put an end to ‘Deep Gras’ now, we may be summoning something far worse than high winds.