Study Finds Average Louisianan Eats 8 King Cakes Per Year While Asleep
A newly released regional sleep study has confirmed that the average Louisianan unknowingly consumes approximately eight full king cakes per year while asleep, most commonly…
Uptown Woman Vows to Never Get out of Bed Again as Cold Front Hits New Orleans
Pulling the covers tighter and closer to her chin, Sara Shaw of Uptown says she has no plans to leave her warm bed ever again…
First Sidewalk Repaired Since Katrina Added to School Field Trip Rotation
The City of New Orleans confirmed today that the first sidewalk repaired since Hurricane Katrina has been officially added to the Orleans Parish School Board’s…
Study No One Asked For Concludes Honey is The “Best-Tasting” Vomit
A panel of food researchers in Marrero confirmed this week that honey has been ranked the best-tasting vomit, narrowly earning the top spot due to…
Cantrell Officially Hits Free Agency, City Signs Moreno With Limited Cap Space
The City of New Orleans confirmed Monday that Mayor LaToya Cantrell has officially hit free agency following the expiration of her contract, formally closing the…
New Food Pyramid Released During King Cake Season, Timing Described as “Bold”
Federal health officials this week released an updated version of the Food Pyramid aimed at encouraging Americans to reduce sugar intake and make healthier dietary…
National Guard Convoy Bound for New Orleans Delayed Indefinitely by Metairie Road Train Crossing
A convoy of 1,000 Louisiana National Guard troops sent to New Orleans stalled out earlier today before even reaching the city, after being trapped at…
New Orleans Announces Pelicans Will Handle New Year’s Eve Ball Drop, Citing Extensive Experience
City officials confirmed earlier today that the New Orleans Pelicans will assist with this evening’s New Year’s Eve countdown, coinciding with the annual ball drop…
Man Who Vowed to Be Kinder This Holiday Season Reconsiders Near Lakeside Mall
A local man who entered the holiday season with a renewed commitment to kindness, patience, and emotional growth was forced to reconsider that pledge Tuesday…
Santa Blamed for Latest Entergy Outage; Several Reindeer in Critical Condition
In what feels like the latest chapter in an all-too-familiar saga, portions of the Crescent City went dark last night due to yet another bizarre…
Mayor Cantrell Applies for Eligibility Waiver to Extend Tenure
Citing the same COVID-19 eligibility provisions that granted college football players an extra year of competition, New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell has formally applied for…
Tulane Hires Surviving Highway Monkey as Offensive Coordinator
The Tulane Green Wave made another bold move this morning, announcing that the lone surviving monkey from October’s highway crash has officially been hired as…
Audubon Animals Demand Answers After Realizing They, Too, Can No Longer Afford The Zoo
After Disappointing Year, Hurricanes Look to Regroup in Off-Season
City of New Orleans Announces Unbeatable Deals for Cyber Monday Extravaganza
Scientists Now Freezing Saints and Pelicans Fans for Their Own Protection
Self-Driving Cars Boycott New Orleans Over Poor Street Conditions
Local PE Teacher Announces He Has Accepted LSU Head Coaching Job, LSU Totally Unaware
Congress Votes 427–1 to Release Epstein Files. Louisiana Rep Heroically Protects Nation from Too Much Clarity.
Louisiana Scores C- on Infrastructure without Greasing a Single Palm
Gov. Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order Making Every Louisiana School Mascot a Tiger
New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell Will Not Seek Reelection
Man From The Future Claims Humanity’s Survival Depends on Turning Off The Saints and Pelicans
