Entergy customers announce utility can expect rolling payment delays over next several months

Entergy customers announce utility can expect rolling payment delays over next several monthsMorgan Vander Hart

Facing challenges related to a large-scale winter storm with temperatures of extreme cold, Entergy customers across the southern United States today initiated an emergency response plan to combat extreme frustration and contempt.

Entergy customers announced that due to a shortage of cash funds and patience, the monopoly utility company could anticipate rolling payment delays for at least four to six months. Experts believe the groundbreaking plan, which also includes a “patience fee” that will be tacked onto Entergy’s annual profits and returned to customers, will also reduce the likelihood of future loads of shit shedding.

Though, Entergy customers say further bill outages beyond the predicted four-to-six-month timeframe are also possible if the company’s usage of their patience doesn’t decrease.

“We need Entergy to significantly reduce usage of the ‘power of people’ so as to keep customers as a whole from overloading or becoming unstable,” said Greg Hylian, spokesman for Energy customers, from Baton Rouge as he shivered without power for the fourth day in his 38-degree den. “We ask that Entergy please continue to monitor and reduce how it uses its customers’ patience as we’ve seen the strain can cause massive cursing and blackouts.”

Entergy declined to comment on the rollout of the plan. Though, Hylian responded for Entergy and said he will bill the utility a convenience fee for his services.

“Your [Entergy’s] cooperation in continuing services, without payment during this time, is mandatorily expected. Thank you for helping us to conserve our sanity and not being such dicks. Thanks.”