Saints fans donate 4 million right hands to Drew Brees GoFundMe page

Neutral Ground News - New Orleans News - SatireDon Kiebels

New Orleans Saints star quarterback Drew Brees hurt his hand during the second possession in the first quarter of today’s game against the Los Angeles Rams and is questionable to return. Backup Teddy Bridgewater came in to replace Brees and has struggled, forcing fans to take drastic measures.

Team officials, however, say they are currently wading through four million right hands immediately donated by scared shitless fans on a GoFundMe page in hopes of getting Brees back on the field for the second half.

“There’s only one Drew, but out of four million hands, come on, there has to be one out there he can use like a spare until the mechanic gives him the green light,” said a team official who spoke on the condition of anonymity due to the possible wrath of coach Sean Payton.

The team is reportedly also having Brees test his lefthand as a possible stand-in. Stay tuned for more as it comes in.

“Some people might say this is dumb and donating a hand doesn’t do anything,” said Saints fan Ike Joseph. “Well, those same people also once said the Saints will never win a Super Bowl. You just gotta have faith. Hell, Drew can have both hands, legs, and my torso. I donate my body to the Saints. Take whatever he needs.”

According to GoFundMe, the page for Brees received the most donations in the shortest amount of time ever for the fundraising website, earning over four million donations in just nine seconds.