With crime on the rise and the city scrambling for answers, New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu reportedly has developed an out-of-the-box plan using marijuana smoke that he and his staff claim will significantly reduce the number of violent acts committed in the area, unlike his previous, unsuccessful plan.
Mayor Landrieu today announced the creation of Weed It Out, a new initiative that will convert half of the city’s mosquito fog trucks into marijuana fog trucks in an effort to facilitate a more tranquil environment.
“We’ve smoked, uh, surveyed the situation from every possible angle and this was found to be the most effective solution with the least opposition,” said Deputy Mayor Peter Bake.
According to medical experts, common symptoms of marijuana use are bloodshot eyes, increased heart rate, increased appetite, memory impairment, and difficulty paying attention or solving problems.
“We’ve tried bringing in more cops, organizing midnight basketball and offering mentors, but no one has ever tried something this groundbreaking.”
“The idea is to mellow out potential criminals and take away their motivation for doing anything other than eating, laughing or hugging people.”
According to the mayor’s office, marijuana trucks will roll nightly in most parts of New Orleans, two to three times a day in high crime areas and also nightly around the Superdome when its exterior color lights attract those under the influence.
Kenny Lee, a French Quarter resident who became fed up with the recent string of murders, beatings and robberies in the area, has doubts about the initiative but remains optimistic.
“It’s great to see the city take an out-of-the-box approach. I don’t know if it’s going to stop all the crime but I do know I’m going to open a burrito, peanut butter, pizza, Funyuns and cookies stand,” said Lee.
City Hall reports no one has opposed the Weed It Out initiative, which is scheduled to roll this summer.