While Who Dats argue over whether Spencer Rattler or Tyler Shough should be the Saints’ starter this season, the man making the call seems to have other plans.
In a historic move not seen since the leather helmet era, the NFL has officially approved a rare “player-coach” contract allowing Saints offensive coordinator and first-year head coach Kellen Moore to name himself starting quarterback for the team’s third preseason game.
League officials said the decision was made after ‘extensive film study’ of the Saints’ current depth chart (second-year pro Spencer Rattler, rookie second-round pick Tyler Shough, and third-year pro Jake Haener) and concluding that while the young group shows promise, ‘they’re about three seasons away from running an offense that doesn’t look like a group project.’ An ESPN Computer also predicted the Saints to be the worst team in the NFL this season.
Moore, who hasn’t thrown a pass in an NFL game since 2017, reportedly volunteered after practice. “At this point, I know the playbook better than the quarterbacks do. And, honestly, this is cheaper than signing another veteran journeyman,” Moore said.
Moore brings with him an impressive pedigree, technically. He’s the winningest quarterback in college football history with 50 wins at Boise State, a record so untouchable the NFL wouldn’t touch it — not even with a late-round flyer.
Instead, he entered the league undrafted in 2012, carving out a six-year career with the Lions and Cowboys. Though he spent most of it holding a clipboard, teammates say that experience makes him “perfectly suited for New Orleans,” where even Sean Payton once suited up at QB just to save money.
One veteran said it “removes the middleman,” since Moore can now ignore his own advice directly on the field. Fans, meanwhile, are torn between excitement and the creeping realization that their best quarterback option may now be a guy with a laminated play sheet in one hand and a red flag in his pocket.
Inside sources say the move could be a model for future cost-cutting, similar to the league’s new electronic yardage systems. By consolidating two salaries into one, owners see “an exciting step toward maximizing efficiency.”
The Saints haven’t said how long the arrangement will last, but insiders say it’s safe to assume Moore will keep the job until he discovers a quarterback more trustworthy than himself, or Arch Manning descends in 2027 to fulfill the prophecy etched into the Superdome’s maintenance tunnels.