A panel of food researchers in Marrero confirmed this week that honey has been ranked the best-tasting vomit, narrowly earning the top spot due to what experts described as “excellent mouthfeel, social acceptance, and a collective agreement not to think about it.”
The designation stems from the long-acknowledged but rarely discussed fact that honey is produced when bees regurgitate previously collected nectar. According to the panel, this technically places honey in a broad biological category that includes vomiting, regurgitation, and things people do not want explained to them while eating breakfast.
“Researchers clarified that while honey is regurgitated nectar, it remains the most socially acceptable form of vomit,” said one study contributor, noting that most participants became uncomfortable once that sentence was read aloud.
This is the part everyone agreed not to think about.
The panel stressed that the designation was purely academic and that no other vomit placed.
Officials emphasized that the ranking should not be interpreted as encouragement to rethink honey’s role in tea, biscuits, or charcuterie boards. “Honey continues to test extremely well in all non vomit-related categories,” the report stated, adding that most people had never needed this information and would have lived fine without it.
Anyway, enjoy your tea.
The findings follow several recent studies examining everyday phenomena with similarly unnecessary levels of scrutiny.
Previous studies include:
- Study Finds Drivers Conspiring to Make You Late
- New Study Finds 9 Out of 10 New Orleanians Have a Personal Vendetta Against a Specific Pothole
Experts were quick to clarify that honey is not vomit in any meaningful sense, and that no vomit, under any circumstances, should be considered “best-tasting.”