Summer in New Orleans can be hot and humid, like trying to breathe underwater while wrapped in a woolen blanket. It can also make you worry about Entergy bills.
We get it, we really do – even taking a vacation these days might seem about as likely as NOPD responding to a call. With the constant juggling of bills and the ever-increasing cost of living, the idea of a getaway feels like a distant dream.
Fear not, oh, swampassy one! We’ve got the perfect list of places where you can stay and stay and stay to seek refuge from the merciless Louisiana sun while saving both your sanity and your hard-earned money.
Here are the top five places to stay in New Orleans this summer:
1) Costco’s Fruit and Dairy Freezers
3900 Dublin St, New Orleans, LA 70118
Looking for a summer getaway that’s got a wide selection of frozen treats and ample space for your family? Say no more! Costco’s Fruits and Dairy Freezers have got you covered (in frost)! This isn’t your typical walk-in cooler; it’s a magical realm where you can lose yourself in the vastness of frozen foods while also losing track of time. Not only can you find all the cold novelties your heart desires, but you’ll also be surrounded by enough frozen goodness to make Queen Elsa jealous.
Imagine taking a leisurely stroll along the milk wall while feeling like you’re trekking through a winter wonderland. Plus, who needs a gym when you can build your biceps by lifting those jumbo-sized packs of grapes?
2) Sam’s Club Fruit & Dairy Freezers
3900 Airline Dr, Metairie, LA 70001
Sure, Sam’s Club has got you covered with bulk-buying necessities, but did you know they’re also experts in providing an Arctic experience? While everyone else is sweating bullets outside, you can bask in the frigid glory of Sam’s Fruit & Dairy Freezers. The best part? You can cool off your body and your bank account simultaneously. The savings are so cool; they’re almost frosty!
While you’re at it, why not have some fun with a cold food scavenger hunt? Race against the clock to find the most obscure frozen fruit, and you’ll have your kids entertained for hours.
3) Kenner Ice House
2151 Williams Blvd, Kenner, LA 70062
Looking for a locale with a chill vibe? Look no further than the Kenner Ice House. It’s not just a name; it’s a promise. This place is an oasis of coolness amidst the blazing heat of summer.
When the temperature rises, Kenner Ice House comes to the rescue. This place is not only a lifesaver for those seeking a break from the heat, but it also gives you a chance to practice your best “sub-zero survival skills.” And who knows, you might even pick up some tips for your next Arctic expedition (or grocery shopping trip, whichever comes first).
We’ve heard rumors that the Ice House’s freezer is so refreshing, some visitors consider setting up camp there for the entire season. Who needs a beach vacation when you can bask in the frosty glory of endless ice?
4) Rouse’s Airline Beer Room
2701 Airline Dr, Metairie, LA 70001
For those seeking a more “adult” summer escape, Rouse’s Airline Beer Section is the place to be. It’s like a beer festival, minus the entrance fee and wristband! Step into this oasis of cold beverages, and you’ll be surrounded by a selection of ice-cold beers that’ll make you feel like you’ve stepped into the Arctic tundra.
Oh, and don’t forget the energy-saving aspect – every time you’re in the beer section, you’re not at home using your AC. Talk about a win-win situation!
5) Upper Pontalba Apartment (Second Floor)
540 St Peter, New Orleans, LA 70116
Looking for a unique, immersive cooling experience in a place where you can crank up the AC without a care in the world? Look no further than the Upper Pontalba Apartment. Here, anything goes, including turning your thermostat down to “polar bear hibernation” levels.
It’s the perfect spot to take that long-awaited vacation without ever leaving your home city. Grab your family and embark on a thrilling adventure of TV show binge-watching, ice-cold drinks, and a fridge full of snacks. And don’t worry about the electricity bill; you’re already saving by not jetting off to a faraway destination!
For those seeking a more “adult” summer escape in New Orleans, Rouse’s Beer Room is the place to chill.
So there you have it – the top five places to stay (and stay and stay) in New Orleans this summer. Embrace the coolness of these hidden gems right in your own backyard, all while keeping those energy bills in check. Just be prepared for Entergy to send you a “thanks for not using your AC” surcharge anyway. Remember, they may take our money but they’ll never take our freezedoms!