That’s a wrap: Mayor Cantrell cancels Christmas in New Orleans until she gives the green and red lights
You can pout, you can cry, you can shout, but you will comply. Christmas in New Orleans is canceled. Santa Claus will have to cool…
Articles by C-Mortar
Beloved Louisiana weatherman dies in freak “spaghetti” accident
Long-time Louisiana weatherman Jay Roberts was accidentally strangled to death today after he got caught in the 10:00 am ‘spaghetti model’ forecast for Hurricane Delta…
Dr. Morgus, New Orleans scientist who claimed to have cure for COVID-19, dies mysteriously
A cure found and a life lost. When premier New Orleans doctor-scientist Dr. Momus Alexander Morgus, also known as ‘Morgus the Magnificent,’ passed away at…
Authorities confirm real plant found in Metairie office building lobby
A “suspicious object” incident in Metairie today has turned out to be a false alarm. Botanists from the Audubon Institute today confirmed a real live plant…
Hipster wishes he could have done more for iPhone that died in his hands
Disoriented, dehydrated, and, in his own words, “lucky to be alive,” local hipster Odin Williams endured more than three hours without his smartphone yesterday. Williams,…
Louisiana Legislature sets new social distancing rules for bribery, other corruption
With the opening of the Louisiana Legislature earlier this week in Baton Rouge, Speaker of the House Clay Schexnayder has instituted new rules to help…
New Orleans brewery announces launch of new Cantrell beer
Brewery Breauxs, a micro-brewery in Gentilly, has announced it is naming a new beer after New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell. The Cantrell beer aims to…
All of New Orleans claims to be homeless after mayor announces homeless will be housed at Hilton and Windsor Court, meals catered by Drago’s and Antoine’s
Every single person in Orleans Parish, all 423,456 weary souls, is now claiming to be homeless after Mayor LaToya Cantrell, in between national news interviews,…
April Fools’ Day canceled in New Orleans after March Fools exhaust years worth of supplies
Put away your pranks and jokes, New Orleans. According to reports, the city will not be allowed to participate in April Fools’ Day for a…
Curbside Christ: Local churches convert to life with coronavirus in New Orleans
Ever since Governor John Bel Edwards banned all gatherings of 50 or more in Louisiana, area churches have had to come up with creative ways…