“Getting your ashes” on Ash Wednesday is a long-standing tradition in the Big Easy, but in today’s hectic world many people just don’t have the time. So, St. Albert’s Episcopal Church in Metairie has hit upon a novel and convenient way for locals to keep up the tradition and have fun while doing it.
The church will administer fun “ash animal” designs on the forehead at the drive-thru of an old Take 5 Oil Change location on Williams Boulevard, after a short prayer, in hopes of drawing more people back to the church.
Reverend and former Take 5 manager John Fernandez said the church will offer several designs for both kids and adults to choose from for their ashes.
Recipients will get to choose from a wide assortment of fun “ash animal” designs to be administered on their forehead at St. Al’s drive-thru, after a short prayer.
“We’ve got tigers, we’ve got bears, we’ve got just about any wonderful animal the Lord put on this earth as an option. Except for falcons. Those make Jesus sad.”
In addition to the priest at the window, acolytes will also be on hand to administer ashes to any passengers in the car in addition to balloons, stuffed animals, and “I DID IT!” stickers for the kids. A limited number of “I got ash faced at St. Al’s!” stickers will also be available for adults.
“We accept all denominations,” said Reverend Fernandez. “Oh, and religions, too. So if you’re Catholic and having a guilty conscience for not going to mass, stop in for your ash animal and we’ll take care of you in five minutes or less. We’ll even top off your vehicle’s fluids and give you a cold drink while you wait for absolution.”
Reverend Fernandez reiterated that all who wish to receive ashes are welcome.
“Look, the ash animals are cute and all, but seriously, for a few more bucks we can put them in any shape the recipient desires, and in more than 50 shades of grey.”