Spirit Halloween, an annual pop-up store for Halloween costumes, accessories, decorations, and groups of bored teenagers who will annoy the ever-living crap out of you, is now open inside the remains of the barely cold Clearview Mall.
A resident of Metairie since August 1969, the mall at 4436 Veterans Boulevard had been on life support for several years before it finally succumbed in July 2024 to a variety of ailments. Spirit Halloween quickly swooped in on the remains.
Though Clearview’s carcass measures a massive 700,000 square feet, Spirit sliced, carved, and bound portions off for its monstrous showroom to display thousands of spellbinding items.
“We’ve got eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing — charms to cause powerful trouble, and boil and bubble like a broth of hell. Whatever you want, we’ve got it. Your Halloween starts… and ends… here,” store manager Robert Walton said laughing manaically.
Halloween enthusiasts are thrilled the popular Halloween superstore took possession of the decaying mall.
“I absolutely love going to Spirit and was so happy to see they’re putting some life back into it (Bed Bath & Beyond),” said local Sally Hardesty who is actually excited to wear makeup for a change. “Some people might call me a witch, but I tell you what, that area around Clearview Mall is a nightmare because there are so many people and I truly, honestly hate people.”
According to Parish records, Spirit Halloween is spreading as it has also burrowed into the husk of a Tuesday Morning in Gretna at 64 Westbank Expressway and the carcass of a Party City in Elmwood at 1000 South Clearview Parkway.
To draw in more kids and better appeal to families, Spirit said it hopes to have Frankenstein on hand every October weekend to take pictures with customers. However, Walton noted he is still waiting to hear back from Bill Cassidy’s assistant about the senator’s availability.
“We’re constantly searching for ways to amplify the excitement of Halloween and bring the spirit to more people in more places,” said Walton. “So, if you happen to know a large business that hasn’t been doing too well lately, please contact us through the medium of your choice.”
While Clearview appears to be just a shell of itself, a local psychic who declined to be named and has yet to hit on the lottery once ever so we should totally believe her predicts the mall will rise again. According to her, the spirit of Clearview has ‘unfinished business.’
“It’s been whispering to me in the food court for years,’ she says, clutching an old Auntie Anne’s pretzel. ‘The mall will return… but this time, with hotels, apartments, and outdoor concerts—because apparently, that’s what the spirits of shopping centers are into these days.’
Find a Spirit Halloween near you with this carcass locator.