Stench coming from Westbank sourced to Marrero man’s Axe Body Spray

Neutral Ground News - New Orleans News - Satire

There’s been a strong smell lingering in the air lately for those living just across the Mississippi River in Harahan and River Ridge. As complaints of intolerable odors and health problems mount, Jefferson Parish officials have determined the source of the putrid smell emanating from the Westbank of New Orleans.

State environmental and parish officials have identified 27-year-old Marrero man Jake Bourgeois, who prefers his fam call him J.B., as the source of the noxious odor.

Westbank New Orleans odor

Bourgeois, the source of the noxious odor emanating from the Westbank of New Orleans, has blanketed the area with a massive, stagnant cloud of twatwaffle.

Bourgeois, who drives a lifted Ford F-250 emblazoned with Salt Life and TAPOUT decals, blasts more than just Drake songs from the vehicle he calls “Truck Norris” — now also spews a nauseating smell that has blanketed the area with a massive, stagnant cloud of twatwaffle.

According to reports, Bourgeois increasingly began dousing himself in Axe Body Spray multiple times a day over the last month to attract “all dem hoes.” The finding rules out the investigation’s original suspects: two nearby landfills, barges, and trains that move through the area.

But the nature of Bourgeois’ odor — a stink that residents say burns their eyes, noses, and throats, and may be behind a recent rash of nosebleeds — has called into question why the body spray isn’t banned.

“You just can’t get clean air,” Harahan resident Michael Goodman said. “It’s a very claustrophobic feeling — I don’t understand why it isn’t illegal in populated areas. It smells like douche everywhere and should be banned.”

Goodman said the smell was back and at full strength last night, growing as strong inside his house as outside. He called authorities after he became concerned that he was having a reaction to the pungent odor.

“It was so bad over here that my whole face burned,” he recalled. “I’ve never experienced anything like that. It was very disturbing.”

Mike Ropinez, president of the parish’s Department of Environmental Affairs, said Bourgeois has not been cited for violating any air-quality standards and there isn’t much that authorities can do, “but we hope he does us a solid by keeping it capped,” he conceded.

Goodman hears his children cough at night and wonders if they may ultimately have to move from a city where his family has developed deep roots.

“I didn’t move from Chalmette just to smell the same bullshit here,” Goodman stated. “The Westbank of New Orleans needs to stay on the Westbank.”

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