Smokers take smoking ban protest to the streets, officials thrilled

Neutral Ground News - New Orleans News - Satire

As New Orleans joins the increasing number of cities across the nation banning smoking in many public and private places, a group of smokers took to the streets to voice their disapproval and were applauded by city officials.

“We’re thrilled smokers are being so cooperative and taking it outside,” said City Councilwoman LaToya Cantrell. “We envisioned a tough transition for smokers once the ban went into effect, but I never imagined it’d go this smoothly.”

Although the protestors originally started out on St. Charles Avenue in the Central Business District, police officers directed the smokers further and further down the street until they ultimately were out of the city because of proximity violations around bars, gambling halls, hotels, private clubs, airports, amusement parks, antique shops, appliance stores arcades, art galleries, art museums, aquariums, army surplus stores, auditoriums, bakeries, banks, barbershops, beauty salons, bed and breakfasts, bistros, bookstore, boutiques, brasseries, bus stations, butcher shops, cafes, cafeterias, camera stores, candy shops, car dealerships car washes, caves, chain stores, cinemas, civic centers, clinics, clothing stores, coffee shops, colleges, community centers, consignment shops, convenience stores, convention centers, copy shops, courthouses, dance studios, delis, delicatessens, department stores, dentist’s offices, diners, discount stores, doctor’s offices, dollar stores, dressmakers, drive-in movies, drive-through drugstores, fabric stores, factory outlets, farmer’s markets, fast food restaurants, feed stores, fire stations, five-and-dime stores, fix-it shops, florists, food courts, funeral homes, furniture stores, galleries, game stores, gas stations, general stores, gift stores, grocery stores, gymnasiums, haberdasheries, hardware stores, historical venues, hobby stores, hobos, home improvement stores, ice cream shops, jewelry stores, kiosk stores, libraries, lighthouses, lumberyards, malls, manholes, markets, meeting houses, motels, movie theaters, museums, music stores, nurseries, outlet stores, panhandlers, parks, parking garages, pawnshops, pet stores, pharmacies, pizza places, playgrounds, police stations, post offices, potholes, pubs, public gardens, quilt stores, repair shops, salons, saloons, sandwich shops, schools, second hand stores, shoe stores, soda shops, sporting goods stores, stadiums, stationery stores, streetcars, supermarkets, surplus stores, taverns, tea houses, theaters, thrift stores, toy stores, train stations, truck stops, video stores, wax museums and zoos.