The latest issue of Snitch magazine lists New Orleans as the #1 city for criminals to work.
According to Snitch, criminals in New Orleans combined to enjoy an incredible 2,646% rise in revenue over the last two years, easily earning it a #1 ranking. The magazine attributes this growth to the significant increase in the number of drug deals, muggings, and robberies committed over the last two years. The industry currently is on pace to break that record this year.
The publication also says New Orleans offers “unlimited opportunities” for both start-up and established criminals alike, easily beating its competition for the top spot thanks to its unique blend of ineffective city leadership, poor infrastructure, an understaffed and underfunded police department, and high public apathy.
Armstead Barrios, who has owned and operated two crime dens in Central City for the last four years, says he feels he wouldn’t have had the same success if he had started up in another city.
“In New Orleans, we are free to steal and kill without much interference from the government, and that is great for the bottom line. The last few years have been incredible for my business, so we’ve been exploring the possibility of expanding,” Barrios said.
“As a criminal, I’m a supporter of smaller, ineffective government, and it doesn’t get any better than in New Orleans.”
Trailing New Orleans for the top spot in descending order includes St. Louis, Baltimore, Detroit, Chicago, and Atlanta.
Finding a silver lining in the dark cloud hovering over New Orleans, local Jeremy Knower said there’s at least something to be proud of with this distinction.
“At least we beat Atlanta. That’s always fun. By the way, did you know they blew a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl? I still can’t believe that.”