A man who police say threatened to blow up the bathroom at a local Taco Bell has holed up in a stall and is refusing to come out. Authorities on the scene say the man has refused to talk, only grunting and wailing.
Witnesses indicated the man today walked into the Taco Bell around 12:30 p.m. alone and ordered two “Volcano Quesarito Boxes.”
According to one witness, the man ate quietly for approximately 10 minutes before beginning to display odd behavior that included shifty eyes, profuse sweating, and constant fidgeting.
“I didn’t really notice him at first but then he started mumbling things about God and explosions while tightly shutting his eyes,” said Jerry Townsend who nervously left the restaurant just moments later.
Authorities say the man, identified as Blaine Landry, got up from his seat and proclaimed to diners that he was going to blow up the men’s bathroom. The manager of Taco Bell immediately alerted the police, who then evacuated all diners and workers from the restaurant.
“He said something about ‘making a delivery,'” said witness Amy Ritter. “He looked very nervous and was sweating like Mitch Landrieu answering questions about the city’s pumping system.”
Police officers dispatched to the standoff at Taco Bell described Landry as “uncooperative” and “very angry.”
“We don’t know much about him yet or what his demands are. We’ve tried to get our negotiator to talk with him but have so far been unsuccessful,” said an officer who wished to remain anonymous because he is not permitted to speak publicly about the situation but did so anyway because he had always wanted to do an interview but never got to because other officers always beat him on the scene and he got here first this time and, damn it, why not Deputy Joe Graffino?
“All we hear from the bathroom is cursing, screaming, and, sometimes, praying. We can’t make out what he’s saying, but whatever it is it doesn’t sound like he’s in his right mind.”
Check back for more on this developing story…