Lawsuit filed against Mayor Landrieu’s potential Uptown jail

Neutral Ground News - New Orleans News - SatireDon Kiebels


If skyrocketing crime and Confederate statues weren’t enough, Mayor Mitch Landrieu now faces a new crisis.

The Mayor’s neighbors have filed a lawsuit claiming Landrieu is attempting to open a new jail in a residential neighborhood.

Local attorney Winston Smith, who of course filed the lawsuit on behalf of Landrieu’s Uptown neighbors out of the goodness of his heart, says that by accepting house arrest for being in contempt of a court order to pay New Orleans firefighters the $75 million the City owes them, Landrieu will, in effect, make his home a city jail.

“He lives in a neighborhood zoned RD-2,” said Smith, “and new jails are strictly forbidden from the RD-2 zoning. If justice is blind, why can’t the Mayor be locked up in the Parish Prison like any other criminal? It’s not like prisoners can’t come and go as they please.”

A person at the Department of Safety and Permits contacted by NGN did acknowledge that prisons and new jails are forbidden in RD-2, but wouldn’t comment further of the specifics of the case. The person said the department will look into the matter and referred NGN to the Mayor’s office, which declined comment.

In a related note, an anonymous source claiming to be with the New Orleans Fire Department contacted NGN saying the mayor needs to be very careful during his incarceration, as it could take NOFD “three or four days to respond to a fire at his address.”

“House arrest? The Mayor should test out the new correctional facilities in his city,” said Smith. “I mean, have you seen the new Parish Prison alongside the interstate? It’s nicer than most of the housing options that regular people can afford. He can probably get a room there.”