Former President George W. Bush visited New Orleans on Friday as he returned to the city where Hurricane Katrina sank his popularity 10 years ago.
Bush, who gave a rousing speech to students and the media at Warren Easton Charter High School, marked the momentous occasion by bringing with him a large pair of brass balls as a tribute.
Officials at Warren Easton said Bush’s representatives alerted them that the former president would need a minimum of three feet of personal space for manspreading while waiting to give his speech.
According to reports, manspreading ensured the 400-pound solid brass orbs would not overheat to cause great balls of fire that could have exploded into a hail of thick chutzpah incapacitating everyone in attendance.
Bush remained in New Orleans for several hours until taking his orbs to visit the people of Gulfport, Mississippi.