Luxury Fashion Brand Commemorates Hurricane with “Katrina Tears” Fragrance

Global fashion and fragrance house LeConnard is commemorating the 20th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina with a limited-edition fragrance allegedly made from the tears of New Orleans citizens. The product, aptly titled Katrina Tears, went on sale this week at select high-end boutiques and airport duty-free shops.

Executives say the concept was born after market research revealed a gap in the lucrative “commodified human suffering” sector.

“The media milks Katrina every year, but businesses have really underperformed in the exploitation department,” said Phillip Hardberger, President of LeConnard’s American division in Atlanta. “Sure, there was that tacky Katrina snow globe and now the upcoming Katrina: The Movie, but this fragrance is premium. We’re talking artisanal trauma.”

According to Hardberger, Katrina Tears is crafted using “precious, non-renewable tears produced in 2005 by actual New Orleanians,” which the company claims have been preserved in a state-of-the-art, vacuum-sealed hydro-cryogenic chamber “to maintain peak freshness and despair.”

“Every drop is as fresh as the day it was siphoned off,” Hardberger ensured.

The fragrance is part of LeConnard’s exclusive Blood, Sweat, and Tears collection, which allows customers to “experience the pain of others” through three matching scents. To complete the set, yuppies will also need to collect the Blood and Sweat fragrances, both developed by New Orleanians who rebuilt the city. When all three are applied together, LeConnard claims, “the aroma projects resilience.”

Priced at $450 for a four-ounce bottle, Katrina Tears is marketed as a gender-neutral fragrance for affluent consumers, social media slacktivists, and “anyone who enjoys flaunting empathy in a luxury setting.”

“Deep sorrow, anguish, anger, depression—you can’t just fake tears like this. There’s someone else’s real pain in every drop, and that’s a hot item on today’s market,” Hardberger said. “It takes a once-in-a-generation disaster, a broken levee system, and wall-to-wall cable news coverage. Today’s modern sociopath is going to absolutely love it.”

LeConnard has confirmed additional releases in the pipeline, including fragrances inspired by Hurricane Helene, Texas floods, Hawaiian fires, and California wildfires, among others, slated for Christmas 2025 and early 2026. An international “Amagon Forest Tears” edition is planned for late 2026.