Trump at convention in New Orleans: “No one else can turn the government on like I can”

A confident President Donald Trump in New Orleans today addressed members of the American Farm Bureau Federation at their annual convention, saying that “no one can turn the government on like I can” in reference to the ongoing government shutdown.

The address to the farmer and ranch group comes amid a federal government shutdown that has threatened to impact several critical agricultural programs, including which has seen its membership drop drastically as many lonely farmers are now too poor to join and instead must huddle up with remaining livestock.

Trump, who earlier in the day completely forgot where he was going to give his speech, praised Nashville, Tennessee in a now-deleted Tweet instead of New Orleans, and veered from his prepared speech for the farmers, instead focusing on the border wall and shutdown.

“The government, it needs me bigly, and we need this wall. You see that. I see that. We all see that. They say walls have ears and I’m listening and I’m speaking up to put it up. They’re just hanging on my every word waiting and I don’t blame them. No one can turn the government on like I can. It’s a gift. Believe me. If anyone else tries to turn it on like I do they’re going to be very, very disappointed when they can’t perform. I don’t know, maybe they have pills for that. But me? I walk into the room, this room that’s always waiting for me to come in, and all the congresses just wait stunned for me to tell them what to do, so I move on them. Deep down, they all want it, everyone wants a strong steel or concrete wall, they’re just playing hard to please. Look, if this was a bar, I’d be going home with them all the time and my tab would be paid by the bar because they’d be stunned by my prowess. I can stop the shutdown but they need to learn. I might be ordering but you’re not getting free drinks.”

Congress, with the shutdown now in its third week and the longest in United States history, has yet to show any signs of interest in the president’s advances and has told close friends that “he [Trump] just isn’t our type.”

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