In the end, we all knew how this would turn out. We’ve seen the champion dispatch too many challengers.
When Calvin Coleman faced Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen last year in the highly anticipated bout of pure deliciousness, he found himself lying flat on the floor barely 10 minutes later, knocked out cold.
Coleman, a Boston native who has called New Orleans home for two years now and had never before had food from Popeyes, tried to take down a combo meal consisting of five pieces of spicy chicken, two sides (red beans and rice, mashed potatoes), a buttery biscuit, garlic herb dipping sauce, and a large Coke.
After a slow start in which Popeyes gave away the first few minutes in order to give Coleman a false sense of confidence, the pound-for-pound king began its attack. Popeyes landed several quick blows to Coleman’s gut, working efficiently to incapacitate its challenger, and about 10 minutes later he was down for the count. Coleman didn’t know what had hit him.
“It was embarrassing. I had eaten fried chicken before but nothing like that. It pounded me, twisting and turning my stomach like I’ve never experienced. I came in like a n00b, making rookie mistakes, and I got myself beat like a rookie. I deserved it,” Coleman said.
Coleman has trained over the last year in his bid to take down Popeyes, which easily defeated him within 10 minutes during their first bout. After first training with Tabasco, Coleman upped his regimen to include “The Source,” a barely legal hot sauce and one of the most excruciating in the world.
Coleman admits he had not properly prepared himself to deal with such a powerful opponent and underestimated its capabilities.
“I tell you what, you don’t forget an experience like that. That Popeyes sneaks up on you. If my friend hadn’t thrown the napkin in I may have gone into a food coma right then and there.”
Fast forward one year and Coleman says he’s ready for a rematch.
After intensive, year-long training that included drinking Original Juan’s “The Source” pain is good hot sauce, described as “hell in a bottle,” with every meal, every day and maintaining a strict regimen of probiotics while also eating wings at Hooters five days a week, he feels his body absolutely can handle the physicality this time around and finally overcome the meal that has tormented him.
“I learned a lot that first time out. While it humbled me, it also made me hungry for more and I’m confident I can take it down.”
Popeyes declined to respond to Coleman’s desire for a rematch, only saying they are open 10 AM – 11 PM, and the newly installed crying room for babies is “available as needed, pussy.”