Following the university’s decision to part ways with head coach Brian Kelly, LSU Online has unveiled a new degree program designed to help other institutions recover financially from long-term relationships with short-term results.
The Bachelor of Science in Coaching Buyout Management will teach students how to budget around multi-million-dollar terminations, repurpose alumni donations for damage control, and manage press conferences that begin with the words “mutually agreed to part ways.”
“Higher education is about learning from our mistakes,” said an LSU spokesperson. “And if we can’t stop making them, we can at least start monetizing them.”
The program’s curriculum reportedly includes courses such as:
◍ Advanced Excuses: How to Say ‘Rebuilding Year’ With a Straight Face
◍ Economics 451: The Cost of Hope
◍ Intro to Legal Loopholes, and Moral Victories
◍ Public Relations 212: How to Make ‘Next Year’ Sound Convincing
The degree is scheduled to launch in Fall 2026, or as soon as LSU can find a couple professors willing to sign at-will contracts.
University officials say the move reflects LSU’s ongoing commitment to academic innovation, financial adaptability, and selective memory.
Governor Jeff Landry, who has reportedly been “integral” in the process, applauded the new program, saying it “shows that when Louisiana fails, it fails together, as one team, one dream, one budget hole.”
Officials say the degree could take four years, or one bad season. Early enrollees may qualify for severance.