Woman who hasn’t worn bra, pants in a month never, ever going back

Neutral Ground News - New Orleans News - Satire

The elastic has been popped and the clothes hampered. There’s no going back.

River Ridge resident Shannon Oakley has reportedly found her one true self during the ongoing COVID-19 quarantine period, a true self that no longer wears pants or bras.

One month ago, Oakley got home from work, unhooked her bra, and flung it across the room for the last time as Louisiana’s “stay home” order went into effect. She has not put on the restrictive garments since and refuses to do so anytime soon.

“I feel so much more comfortable and free without it [pants and bra] that I am never, ever, ever going back,” Oakley said. “And the amount of laundry is so much less that it’s the easiest decision I’ve ever had to make.”

Sick and Tired of Pants

“The tyranny of trousers and bras is over for me and I hope others will join the cause,” said Shannon Oakley, who is leading the charge for a more comfortable society by advocating for no pants.

While there is International No Pants Day every winter, Oakley is digging her heels in, mainly into the couch where she spends most days now, and is advocating for a bra and pantsless society for all days.

“I doubt I’ll fit into my pants and bras after all this is over and I know I won’t have the money to get new ones. Besides, something I’ve learned from all of this is that pants have had a literal stranglehold on my hips and legs for so long that I had forgotten what the pantless freedom I was born with — we were ALL born with — felt like. The tyranny of trousers and bras is over for me and I hope others will join the cause. Freedom starts from the bottom up. It’s time we overthrow the underpants.”