Stunning its fans and people who love anything that’s free and not nailed down, Neutral Ground News today announced it is giving away two tickets to a highly anticipated upcoming performance by “Weird Al” Yankovic in New Orleans for absolutely no apparent reason other than “just because.”
The seemingly random news shocked the six people who visit the publication’s social media pages as NGN is generally known by fans to be run by destitute hack journalists who spend most of their days sniffing powdered sugar off beignets and crank calling the city’s other media with “tips.”
According to a statement issued by Neutral Ground News, the publication will give away two (2) artist reserved seating tickets that include a five-minute meet and greet with the incredible-and-dashing Weird Al to the winner of a random drawing at the end of May made up of people who have entered the giveaway by signing up >>====>> HERE <<====<<
A couple of jerkface acquaintances who Neutral Ground News never liked anyway and are no longer invited to our LAN party allege that the publication is trying to “buy the love of locals” since they don’t have any friends.
NGN spokesman Dan Gleesac categorically denied the allegation, calling it a lie on par with “the pumps are working at full capacity.”
“The rumors are as true as Mayor LaToya Cantrell is transparent,” Gleesac said. “You have to go a little faster to get that junk by me… well unless the speed threshold has been reduced without NGN management giving me advanced noticed.”
Weird Al, who, along with his original band of three decades, background singers, and a full symphony orchestra, will take the stage at the Saenger Theatre in New Orleans on June 13th for the Strings Attached tour, was unable to be reached for comment — and still has not responded to our Facebook friend request.