LSU coach Les Miles’ career passes on suddenly

Don Kiebels

The LSU career of coach Les Miles, the longest-tenured coach in the SEC heading into the 2016 season, has passed on.

According to a statement released by LSU’s athletic department, the Mad Hatter’s career took a turn for the worst and passed on suddenly this afternoon, less than 24-hours after a heart-stopping win turned into a loss to the Auburn Tigers with one second left. The defeat dropped the one-time #5 team in the nation to a record of 2-2 and out of the Top 500.

Coming this early in the season, the news seemed to shock LSU fans across the nation, though it didn’t seem unexpected.

“One minute he’s our coach and the next minute he’s gone—that’s life,” said Greg Fernandez, a Tiger fan living in Boulder, Colorado. “Miles had a nice, long career, but he was suffering toward the end. It was time.”

It’s being reported Miles’ career succumbed after several long bouts with poor clock management, uncreative offenses, and an inability to develop a quarterback who consistently wins, however, an exact cause is yet to be confirmed.

“I know the cause—horrible coaching,” said Mike McClain, an obnoxious LSU fan who has never played or coached a down in football of any kind but wanted to remind everyone for the one millionth time that he’s been calling for Miles’ career at the school to end for 10 years now.

“I hate to talk bad about anybody who is no longer with us, but you can check my Facebook. I said before, during, and after every game since 2006 that he needed to be put out of his misery but no one listened. Who is getting the last laugh now? Check my status and you’ll find out. It’s me. I’m laughing.”

Miles’ career is survived by his defensive line coach, Ed Orgeron, who takes over as the whipping boy for the remainder of the season.