Due to poor time management, former LSU coach Les Miles expects to be out of office by April

Source: Former LSU coach Les Miles won't be out of office until April

It looks like former LSU coach Les Miles isn’t going anywhere, Tiger fans, at least for awhile.

According to a source within LSU’s Athletic Department, the Mad Hatter’s departure from the school is taking longer than expected due to the coach’s poor time management skills.

“He probably won’t be fully moved out of his office until April at the earliest,” said the source speaking on the condition of anonymity. “We all love Les and what he’s done for LSU, which is why we originally decided to not give him a deadline. Totally a mistake.”

Miles, who has long struggled with the concept of time, conducted business in a 1,100 square foot office packed with memorabilia and knick-knacks—all of which still need to be packed up and moved.

“He spent a ton of time in his office, at least he thinks he did, so there’s a lot of stuff in there,” said the source. “You should see how many boxes of game-chew grass he kept on hand ‘just in case.’ For what? I have no idea.”

Miles reportedly began trudging through his office earlier this week without making much progress. Though, when reached for comment, Les said he had uncovered an old playbook he misplaced sometime after the 2011 undefeated regular season jammed in the back of a desk drawer stuffed behind dozens of lucky horseshoes and rabbit feet.

“I had a want to find it and I knew I hadn’t thrown it away, but it wasn’t anywhere and now it’s here,” Miles said.

The LSU Athletics Department hopes Miles will be out before April’s Purple and Gold Spring Game so as to not cause a distraction for whoever is the new coach.

“Les tends to have trouble focusing on specific tasks for longer than a few minutes,” said the source. “He knows how to pass time, which is ironic because those are two things he’s never been known for, just not on the things he needs to do. We just pray he somehow uses it efficiently to be out at least by April.”

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