LeConnard discovered after conducting market research that while the news media is typically all over the hurricane’s anniversary every year with extensive coverage, there was a lack of businesses exploiting the momentous occasion with opportunistic Katrina-related products.
“Sure, there was that ridiculous, cheap Katrina snow globe thing and the upcoming Katrina: The Movie, but Katrina Tears is a rather exclusive product,” said Phillip Hardberger, President of LeConnard’s American division based in Atlanta.
“It’s made using precious, non-renewable tears produced in 2005 from real-life New Orleanians, something we’ve kept in a state-of-the-art, vacuum-sealed hydro-something or other that ensures every drop is as fresh as the day it was siphoned off.”
Katrina Tears, a limited edition glass bottle of authentic tears cried by the people of New Orleans during and immediately after the hurricane is part of the French company’s exclusive Blood, Sweat, and Tears collection.
Hardberger says LeConnard developed the products to allow the rest of the world to “know the pain” of New Orleanians on the storm’s anniversary.
“Deep sorrow, anguish, anger, depression—you can’t just create tears like this. It takes a once-in-a-generation disaster of this magnitude with this kind of immense media coverage. Today’s modern sociopath is going to absolutely love this,” said Hardberger. “There’s someone else’s real pain in every drop, and that’s a hot item on today’s market. Rich people and social media slacktivists love making others think they care about trendy, popular topics.”
The gender-neutral fragrance, which is targeted toward the affluent market, costs $450 for the four-ounce bottle. Though to complete the set, yuppies will also need to collect the similarly priced blood and sweat fragrances, both developed from New Orleanians who rebuilt the city. When all three are applied together LeConnard says the wearer will smell resilient.
Hardberger said LeConnard is also developing additional products for the popular Blood, Sweat, and Tears collection, including lines for Harvey, Maria, and Michael which are due out for Christmas 2019 as well as the international “Amagon Forest” tears line for early 2020.