Entergy New Orleans to require applicants to spell ‘Tchoupitoulas’

WTH is Chopitoolas?

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After January 1st, Entergy will require all new applicants for a utility account in Orleans Parish to appear in person at any of its offices and spell, from memory, the word ‘Tchoupitoulas.’ Those applying for a meter Uptown will also have to correctly mispronounce, “Melpomene”, “Euterpe”, and “Milan.”

“New Orleans is a hot destination,” said Entergy spokesman James Tesla, “and most of the people moving here don’t know the first thing about it. What happens when the power goes out and they can’t tell us what street they live on? They need to know something about our city, our culture. This screening process is for everyone’s safety.”

Entergy New Orleans to implement test requirements

Entergy says the new screening process will improve safety in the city and free up resources. Critics say bullshit.

Thomas Driscoll of the New Orleans Fire Department agreed and supports the move.

“If somebody calls in a fire on ‘Mee-lahn’ Street, we would tell them to call the Italian Fire Department. Or Disney. They need to know they live on ‘My-len’ Street. Same thing if they said there were a fire on ‘Mel-pom-in-e’ Street. Where’s that at?”

According to Tesla, applicants who fail the test will have to wait at least 30 days before their next attempt, because, “Why not? We literally have the power to do whatever we want.”

Current Entergy New Orleans customers are not required to take the test, a privilege that will be reflected in upcoming statements through a new convenience fee.

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