BREAKING: Louisiana put on high alert, warned of man attempting to regain entry into state

Don Kiebels

State officials have issued a warning to the people of Louisiana as authorities believe an Indian-American man by the name of Piyush Jindal is attempting to gain entry into the state and pose as its governor.

Jindal, who is considered mentally deranged and a threat to the finances of the state, especially those of higher education, is described as having black hair, brown eyes, and tanned skin. He is 5-foot-9 with a slim build.

“The intelligence community has been warning us about this man for over three years now so it doesn’t come as any shock to us that he’s trying to get back into Louisiana,” said Jay Dardenne, the state’s Lieutenant Governor.

Piyush Jindal Information Card
“A few months ago he released a video saying he was ‘tanned, rested, and ready,’ so we know he’s determined to do more damage to our state. We must seal our borders and make sure we keep him out. Our children’s future is at stake.”

Investigators believe Jindal, a 44-year-old transient, could change his appearance in his attempt gain entry into Louisiana and may go by the alias “Bobby” or “President”.

It is believed he once lived in Baton Rouge but according to reports he has spent the past few months in Iowa trying to recruit followers.

Citizens are advised to remain vigilant and to report any sightings of Jindal to the proper local authorities. Do not approach the man as he may be carrying a significantly dangerous amount of bullshit.