Scientists Now Freezing Saints and Pelicans Fans for Their Own Protection
Scientists confirmed today that a new program is underway to extract and cryogenically store the full “fan essence” of Saints and Pelicans supporters, a process…
Articles by Don Kiebels
Self-Driving Cars Boycott New Orleans Over Poor Street Conditions
In a groundbreaking and shockingly self-aware display of solidarity, self-driving cars across the country have organized their first-ever protest, culminating in a Self-Driving Cars Boycott…
Local PE Teacher Announces He Has Accepted LSU Head Coaching Job, LSU Totally Unaware
In a move that stunned exactly no one at his school, Lafayette-area PE teacher and assistant football coach Terry “Coach T-Bone” Thibodeaux held a press…
Congress Votes 427–1 to Release Epstein Files. Louisiana Rep Heroically Protects Nation from Too Much Clarity.
In a rare flash of national harmony, the House voted 427–1 to pass the Epstein Files Transparency Act. The lone dissent came from Louisiana Rep….
Gov. Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order Making Every Louisiana School Mascot a Tiger
In a move he says will “unify the state once and for all,” Gov. Jeff Landry signed an executive order today requiring every Louisiana school,…
New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell Will Not Seek Reelection
Moments after announcing she won’t seek reelection as mayor, LaToya Cantrell reportedly hinted at her next move — Nancy Pelosi’s soon-to-be-empty seat in Congress, after…
Man From The Future Claims Humanity’s Survival Depends on Turning Off The Saints and Pelicans
A man claiming to be from the year 3025 appeared outside the Caesars Superdome this morning, standing silently beneath a flickering streetlight and holding a…
Daylight Saving Ends, Louisiana Re-enters Standard Time and Substandard Everything Else
As clocks rolled back this weekend, Louisiana officially re-entered Standard Time and, according to experts, substandard everything else. While other states enjoyed an extra hour…
Brian Kelly Posts Biggest Win of the Season, Scores $20 Million
LSU’s offense has averaged just 25.5 points per game this season, ranking 83rd in the nation and trailing offensive juggernauts such as Rice, Kent State,…
Locals Gear Up to Ignore Another New Orleans Pelicans Season
With 82 NBA games on the horizon, locals are gearing up to completely ignore another season of New Orleans Pelicans basketball. “Uh, again?” said Mid-City…