New state laws limiting how traffic cameras can be used and forcing revenue-sharing on school zone tickets are projected to cut city income from $19.6 million in 2023 to just $3.3 million in 2025, leaving City Hall scrambling to fill the gap. In response, leaders are preparing to legalize and expand pay-for-play access to city services and resources.
What used to be handled quietly through backroom deals and hush-hush arrangements is now being rebranded as “innovative revenue solutions” and rolled out in the open.
According to sources, draft proposals include premium pricing for same-day pothole repairs, “fast pass” lines for permits and inspections, and VIP seating for residents testifying at council meetings.
Other options under review: leasing out neutral ground space for weddings, auctioning off parking meter keys to the highest bidder, charging residents to rename streets after themselves for 24 hours, a city hall “cover fee” that comes with one drink ticket, and a good ol’ fashioned lawsuit.
One City Hall insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, admitted the search for new money has been less about innovation than survival. “Nobody ever liked the cameras,” the source said, “but they made us rich. Now we’ll just have to find another way to make being poor in New Orleans cost even more.”
Officials stress that every idea is on the table — except fiscal restraint, which has already been ruled “not a revenue generator.”