Sheriff Newell Normand to retire from NOPD

Newell Normand retires from NOPDDon Kiebels

The New Orleans Police Department is losing its top cop. Jefferson Parish Sheriff Newell Normand shockingly announced he is hanging up his holster and turning in his badge to take a job as a talk show host for WWL radio.

At a press conference, the veteran law enforcement officer said that he will officially retire from his post next month, as a host of friends, well-wishers, and media, except for Neutral Ground News because we apparently weren’t invited or made aware beforehand like always, turned out to hear the news.

While rumors that Normand was stepping down after a decade on the job had swirled recently, the move came as a surprise to most local officials.

“Newell Normand has been a great asset to us and I’m devastated to see him go,” New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu said after the press conference. “He is a prime example of how a man should perform his work and get things done,” the mayor noted while glaring at NOPD Superintendent Michael Harrison who rolled his eyes.

Normand, who devoted 37 years of his life to law enforcement, has run a tight ship during his tenure which ensured criminals from Orleans Parish were consistently brought to justice.

“Whenever carjackers, murderers, burglars, drug dealers, you name it, entered his domain, they didn’t stand a chance,” New Orleans District Attorney Leon Cannizaro said. “He drew a line and if they dared to cross it, the NOPD knew the criminals were as good as theirs. I’m really, really going to miss him. You don’t know.”

Normand said Chief Criminal Deputy Joe Lopinto will take over in the interim and continue the tradition of Jefferson Parish catching Orleans Parish criminals.

“He’s the best sheriff the city of New Orleans has had since the late great Harry Lee,” continued Cannizaro.

Mayor Landrieu pleaded with the outgoing sheriff to pretty please with cherries on top reconsider his decision, asking he delay his retirement until Landrieu’s term ends in May.

“Happy 300th,” Normand responded as he exited the press conference.