Wife immediately regrets sending husband to grocery store

Wife immediately regrets sending husband to grocery storeMick Haupt

A cautionary tale to wives everywhere, a Lakeview woman’s life flashed before her eyes after sending her husband to the grocery this past weekend. According to reports, the husband almost bought the first items on shelves.

“I knew it was a mistake almost as soon as his car left the driveway — it was this bad, bad feeling I had,” said Kim Hodges, who perilously had asked her husband Abe to pick up a few things at the grocery because she was busy watching the grandkids.

“Call it a woman’s intuition, but I got on the phone hoping it wasn’t too late. He didn’t answer so I jumped in the car, grandkids and all, raced over to the supermarket while I kept calling and calling. It was absolutely frightening.”

Abe Hodges, who was going to the grocery for the first time in almost 40 years, slowly entered the Rouses Supermarket at 2900 Veterans Memorial Boulevard around 11 a.m. After quickly being overwhelmed by the experience, he began grabbing the first items he saw as he tried to remember the grocery list by memory.

“My memory ain’t what it used to be but dagnabbit that was scarier than my time in Korea,” said a clearly exhausted Abe.

Five minutes later, he made a beeline for the checkout. Little did he know that not only were all the groceries he almost bought the wrong items but they also were at the front of each product’s respective shelf space.

“You never, ever, ever take the first item on a shelf,” said witness Tyra Kazanis. “His wife must do all the shopping, so I guess you can’t blame him. It’s a miracle he survived.”

Abe was just about to enter the checkout line when he finally heard the ringing of Kim’s life-saving call on his Jitterbug cellphone.

“It was close, I’m talking a matter of six feet to the register,” said Abe. “I honestly don’t think I’d be here today if it wasn’t for my wife’s quick thinking. Her regret saved our family from disaster.”

In all, it took Kim seven tries to reach Abe on his phone.

“All she said was ‘Abe, don’t move. Stay exactly where you are. I’m coming.’ About two minutes later she came flying in like a bat out of hell.”

Kim admittedly says she had a lapse in judgment and will never again make the mistake of asking her husband of 43 years to do any shopping whatsoever.

“I had a lot on my mind and I guess it clouded my judgment. I’m just thankful I was able to reach him before anything happened,” said Kim.

According to a 2018 study conducted by the National Association of Groceries (NAG), three out of every four husbands sent by their wives to do shopping of any kind end up in the store’s Lost and Found.

Eight out of every 10 wives have to return the items bought by their husbands and buy the correct ones.