5,389,402 termites dead after violent weekend in New Orleans
The weekend was an especially deadly one in New Orleans as pest control authorities reported 5,389,402 Formosan termites across the city had been killed, including…
Mayor LaToya Cantrell
Dr. Morgus, New Orleans scientist who claimed to have cure for COVID-19, dies mysteriously
A cure found and a life lost. When premier New Orleans doctor-scientist Dr. Momus Alexander Morgus, also known as ‘Morgus the Magnificent,’ passed away at…
Ancient prophecy to be fulfilled as New Orleans enters Phase 2 of reopening
Fulfilling an ancient prophecy predicted hundreds of generations ago, New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell announced the city will activate the second phase of its coronavirus…
Krewe of Exodus readies to roll for socially distanced Mardi Gras 2021
Carnival krewes are taking evasive action after New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell’s recent statement saying she’s not ruling out canceling Mardi Gras 2021. No floats,…
Cantrell: New Orleans restaurant diners must wear masks at all times even when eating
New Orleans restaurants diners! You can eat it! Figuratively. Mayor LaToya Cantrell has released new COVID-19 restrictions for the city as part of Phase One…
New Orleans brewery announces launch of new Cantrell beer
Brewery Breauxs, a micro-brewery in Gentilly, has announced it is naming a new beer after New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell. The Cantrell beer aims to…
Mayor Cantrell orders every body in New Orleans to stay-in-place through May 16, give or take a year
The “stay-in-place” order for every single body in New Orleans is extended to May 16th, give or take several months to a year or two…
All of New Orleans claims to be homeless after mayor announces homeless will be housed at Hilton and Windsor Court, meals catered by Drago’s and Antoine’s
Every single person in Orleans Parish, all 423,456 weary souls, is now claiming to be homeless after Mayor LaToya Cantrell, in between national news interviews,…
April Fools’ Day canceled in New Orleans after March Fools exhaust years worth of supplies
Put away your pranks and jokes, New Orleans. According to reports, the city will not be allowed to participate in April Fools’ Day for a…
New Orleans bars announce measures to ban Mayor Cantrell from ever showing her face again
Bars all across New Orleans have united in solidarity to protect citizens amid the devastating COVID-19 pandemic. New Orleans bar owners held a happy hour…