Welcome to “Odds & Ends“, where we report on real news that
looks like it could possibly be satire but it’s really, truly, seriously not.
Right now, there are 7,616,680,929 people
living existing on this planet and that monstrosity of a number is going up Every. Single. Second.
Just how many gassy flesh bags is that? It’s enough to fill the claustrophobic New Orleans Jazz Fest 11,718 times when using its all-time high attendance number.
With that said, the Big Easy should apparently thank its lucky stars, the porcelain gods, and form a massive second line celebrating one of those people in particular — a local right here in our own sinking, flooded backyard — who represents the absolute best humanity has to offer.
Fortune magazine has named New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu as one of The World’s 50 Greatest Leaders, a list of influential figures they admire most (apparently from a distance.) Why? Landrieu persisted, persevered, and beat out billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and 616 million and 680,928 other people for the honor by leading the city to unprecedented progress
Too bad he didn’t wait to write his book and do a tour until after he finished his term — like most people logically would do (unless you’re jockeying for a future position?) — he could have included this honor in it for that job he’s not trying to land.
28. Mitch Landrieu
Mayor, New Orleans
The bloodshed surrounding efforts to remove a Confederate statue in Virginia last year obscured a more hopeful achievement in New Orleans, where Landrieu led a successful effort to take down four such monuments—persevering through a two-year legal battle even after city business leaders got cold feet. Another legacy for Landrieu, whose term ends in May: NOLA for Life, a mentorship program that advocates say has helped bring about a sharp reduction in gang-related homicides.