In the wake of the teacher-student sex scandal and trial that rocked Destrehan High School, the Louisiana Department of Education is considering a new measure to limit the attractiveness of all educators in the state and help eliminate their sex appeal to students.
The knee-jerk reaction is in response to the trial of former teacher Shelley Dufresne, who admittedly had sex multiple times with an 11th-grade student. Though, she was found not guilty on all charges.
“We want what’s best for the students, and putting hot teachers in the classroom is like putting gas next to a fire. I remember that song Hot For Teacher. No bueno,” St. Charles Parish school board member Al Suffrin said, who lobbied to implement the “Would Index” program.
The Would Index
Created in 2007 by the New York City Board of Education, the Would Index measures the physical attractiveness of both male and female teachers. Unlike a student striving to get an A on a test, a grade too high on the Would Index disqualifies teachers from gaining or retaining a job.
According to WI measures, any teacher being considered for hire must first be deemed no higher than a six on the traditional hotness scale. The candidate, who begins the formal application process by appearing in front of a panel of men and women for review, will be judged using a standardized system and pre-existing prejudices.
For example, a teacher aged 20-25 years old automatically receives nine points, compared to a 60-65-year-old teacher who receives one point. Other considerations include weight, height, breast size, ab definition, clothing style, and the ability to answer awkward questions without pause. Teachers already employed in Louisiana would also be subject to the new rules.
“Imagine a Miss America contest where they all come out for the swimsuit contest,” Suffrin said. “Only, in this case, the winner actually loses and doesn’t get the job.”
Some opponents find the controversial measure too radical. Though, Suffrin believes the reactions he’s witnessed on Twitter regarding Shelley Dufresne and the topic of teacher-student sex prove otherwise.
“I’ve seen over a hundred thousand tweets from people asking where these teachers were when they were in high school,” he said. “And over a thousand that just say ‘Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.’”
Louisiana Department of Education spokesman Bill Whitney believes implementing this system will ultimately not only help stave off precarious situations but also help prove to students that looks aren’t everything.
“The most beautiful people tend to get anything they want in life, but now we can level the playing field, protect students, and create an environment where the only steamy situations will be in the locker room showers,” Whitney told Neutral Ground News.
Louisiana is considering deploying the Would Index during the 2018-2019 school year. Until then, state officials are advising teachers and students to please, please, please not kiss and tell as well as reducing high-fives to low-fives while limiting distribution to only the bestest of friends.