It’s said crime doesn’t pay — that is, unless you’re in New Orleans.
Bank robbers who held up a local financial institution are rolling in the money several times over after reinvesting the money they stole by opening an account using the bank’s high-yield promotion and waiting patiently in the lobby for months due to incredibly slow NOPD response time.
The New Orleans Police Department’s officer, who says the incident is queued in the call log, expects to be able to respond within the next few weeks if he isn’t sick or something.
“I’m getting to it, I’m getting to it. Sometime this month should be good,” officer, detective, deputy chief, firefighter, EMT, teacher, and culture bearer Darrick Johnston said. “There are only so many hours in a day and only so many Darricks. Hell, my mom is still waiting for me to respond to her call for a visit.”
The fortuitous robbery happened on the afternoon of March 23rd at Mid City’s First National Bank of Hundred Dollar Bills Y’all when four thieves looted approximately $1.3 million from the vault and teller drawers.
Expecting law enforcement to quickly descend on the bank after a teller discreetly called 911, the thieves executed the heist in just four minutes and planned to flee — but NOPD still hadn’t arrived when they finished.
With law enforcement nowhere to be seen and no robbery chatter picked up on their police scanner, the robbers decided to stick around for a little bit to maximize their efforts.
“They came to my desk and said they wanted to open one of our promotional high-yield accounts and invest some in some CDs while they were waiting,” FNBHDBY branch manager Lynne Stockton said. “They were very interested in how to best invest the money. I educated them on our products and services, and the market overall. We talked for a while. It was a very educational discussion and they were so polite.”
“We booked a few vacations to recharge, and got some first-class seats for our safety, but that’s about it,” said bank robber Elias Macmillan as he looked at a map pinpointing where he and his accomplices have traveled thus far.
According to Stockon, her advice and their moves paid off big.
Six months later when the robbers decided it was time to pack up their stuff and move back home, they had almost tripled their money to about $3.3 million.
“I tell you what, I led them to the water but they made the move to drink it. They made some really shrewd decisions and it worked out well. I’m proud of them,” Stockton said.
Neutral Ground News reached out via Zoom to one of the robbers, Elias Macmillan, who is currently vacationing in Antibes Juan-les-Pins, France, for comment.
“My brothers and I are truly blessed. Mrs. Stockton really got through to us and put us on the path to getting our lives turned around. If NOPD shows up, who knows how things would have ended up? They say good things come to those who wait. It’s true. We’re so thankful both we and the NOPD did.”
Macmillan pledged that despite their increase in wealth, the foursome would not forget where they come from and who they are.
“We booked a few vacations to recharge, and got some first-class seats for our safety, but that’s about it. We aren’t letting the money change us. Basically, if we’re not helping others, we’re putting it away or investing it thanks to Mrs. Stockon.”
According to Macmillan, he and his accomplices plan to donate $500,000 of their loot to various New Orleans charities as well as purchase new patrol cruisers and equipment for Officer Johnston.
“Awesome. That totally helps,” Officer Johnston said.