Acting at a speed never previously witnessed by New Orleanians, the Sewerage & Water Board announced today it has suspended a newly popular giant construction cone, effective immediately, for “working too much” and “too well.”
According to the press release, the cone is being disciplined for conduct detrimental to the Sewerage & Water Board.
The eight-foot-tall giant construction cone, which went to work earlier this week in the Irish Channel, marked the location of an heirloom pothole at Washington Avenue and Constance Street and had drawn a great deal of attention from appreciative, laughing locals.
The pothole-sized cone is surrounded by yellow hazard flags, four orange-striped barrels, and lesser traffic cones, all marked with Sewerage & Water Board labels. Photo by goashleyo.
A source at the S&WB, barely speaking on the condition of anonymity and laziness, indicated the suspension came about because the cone was doing its job “too well.”
“It was drawing way too much attention to itself and making the rest of us look bad,” the source said. “Like, seriously. Why would you point out a pothole that much? That’s just bad for business.”
The giant construction cone reportedly has been suspended indefinitely with full pay and retains full voluntary access to City Hall’s slush fund, pensions, contracts, and lobbyists.
The cone will remain locked up in the city’s penal warehouse with work-release inmates Robert E. Lee statue and P. G. T. Beauregard statue while awaiting its appeal.