City chooses surprising redevelopment plan for Lee Circle


Over one hundred fifty years after surrendering to General Ulysses S. Grant and effectively ending the Civil War, it appears Confederate General Robert E. Lee has lost once again.

Mayor Mitch Landrieu’s Tricentennial Commission has announced plans to redevelop Lee Circle in downtown New Orleans, which included removing the general’s statue and soon renaming the area.

Landrieu spokesman Steve Mayer said the commission wanted to reinvent the controversial area into something that will unite the city, not divide it.

“We reviewed 34 incredibly creative proposals on what should be done with Lee Circle, and ultimately we chose the one we feel will generate the most positivity in New Orleans now and in the future,” Mayer said.

According to city documents, Lee Circle is scheduled for redevelopment starting this fall and will be converted into the world’s first 360-degree drive-thru daiquiri shop.

“We believe the 360-degree daiquiri drive-thru will not only provide everyone, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, with legitimately good feelings, but it will also be something we can all agree upon.”

The area, which is to be named “Daiquiree Circle”, will provide the world’s most efficient drive-through service as no vehicles will be allowed to stop at any point. The city will also be in charge of running the location.

All proceeds will go directly into the city’s budget, which Mayor Landrieu says will provide greatly needed revenue for fixing streets, improving education and fighting crime.

“This is truly a historic day for New Orleans and our people. As we approach our 300th anniversary, we will now have a recurring surplus in our budget thanks to our borderline drinking problem and we can finally address many of our city’s glaring issues. Except for alcoholism. That stays, clearly,” said Landrieu.

An artist's rendering of how Lee Circle will transform.

An artist’s rendering of how Lee Circle will transform.