Man Demands Answers After Pet Crawfish ‘Snappy’ Vanishes
What began as a quiet Sunday in Gentilly took a sharp turn into a full-blown shellfish scandal after resident Earl Dufrene reported his beloved pet…
Team Physician Mercifully Puts Down Pelicans After Years of Suffering
The long, agonizing struggle for the New Orleans Pelicans is mercifully over. Team officials announced the squad was euthanized early this morning after battling several…
Audubon Zoo Discovers One Animal is Actually Just a Drunk Guy in a Costume
Audubon Zoo staff recently made an unexpected discovery that left them both confused and oddly impressed: one of their most talked-about animals—the elusive “Cajun Lemur”—was…
Desperate Crawfish Asks for Public’s Help with Missing Persons Cases
A desperate crawfish is asking the public for help to find several missing friends and family. Four days after every single friend, family member, and resident…
Crescent City Classic Hopeful to Begin Training ‘Tomorrow’ for Real This Time
Vowing to start training for the upcoming Crescent City Classic probably as soon as tomorrow, Old Metairie resident Emily Haydee said she really, really means…
New Study Finds 9 Out of 10 New Orleanians Have a Personal Vendetta Against a Specific Pothole
A groundbreaking new study from Tulane University’s Department of Civic Trauma has confirmed what many New Orleanians have known for years: nearly every resident holds…
New Orleans City Council to City Employees: Pre-game on Your Own Dime
In a sobering turn of events, the New Orleans City Council has officially banned the use of taxpayer dollars for alcohol purchases during work travel,…
Gov. Jeff Landry Issues Executive Order to Rename Louisiana as “Landriana”
In what officials are calling “a bold next step in personal brand governance,” Governor Jeff Landry has signed an executive order to officially rename the…
Southwest Airlines Offers Mayor Cantrell Spokesperson Role for ‘Wanna Get Away’ Fares Amid Travel Ban Fight
After successfully blocking the City Council’s attempt to ground her travel habits, Mayor LaToya Cantrell has reportedly caught the attention of Southwest Airlines, which sees…
Man White-Knuckling Causeway Commute Deeply Regrets Watching “Final Destination” Last Night
A Metairie man is questioning his decision-making abilities after spending his entire Causeway Bridge commute in a cold sweat, flashing back to every single horrific…
New Orleans Mardi Gras Parades Officially Downgraded to “Festive Gathering Near a Float” Due to High Winds
Despite high wind warnings, City of New Orleans officials have announced that Mardi Gras parades will still roll, but in a “modified, safety-conscious, and wind-resistant”…
Jefferson Parish Cancels Mardi Gras Day Parades, Citing High Winds—But the Real Threat? The Dark Forces Summoned by ‘Deep Gras’
(JEFFERSON PARISH – NGN) Officials in Jefferson Parish have announced the cancellation of all Mardi Gras Day parades, citing “expected high winds” as the official…