Saints fans rehydrate from Boycott Bowl hangover by soaking up tears of Rams fans

Don Kiebels and Monkey on a Stick

New Orleans Saints fans took to social media and Internet message boards on Monday morning to soak up the tears of an entire Los Angeles Rams fan base still upset about missed calls during Sunday’s Stupor Bowl.

The 15 Rams fans, who for two weeks have told Saints fans to “get over” the terrible, awful, bull-shit no-call by that NFL ref crew who allegedly was also part of the JFK assassination, are now flooding their keyboards and smartphones with their tears after their team lost an exhilarating punting contest 13-3 to the New England Patriots.

And New Orleanians are finding a good use for those tears. Thousands of New Orleans Saints fans spent Sunday partying in the French Quarter among hundreds of other locations boycotting the game-that-must-not-be-named, and a number of fans woke up this morning feeling slightly hungover.

“I woke up with the worst headache and dry mouth I’ve had since I can remember, which is about since Tuesday,” New Orleans Saints fan and Uptown resident Gus Breide said on Monday morning after partying all day and all night at Tracey’s Original Irish Channel Bar’s Boycott Bowl. “But I read those Tweets and posts about the bad refs from Rams fans, and I drank up those tears like it was Pedialyte. Now, I feel 100 percent better.”

Breide said he printed out and is planning to frame a couple of posts to hang in his office.

“JESUS REFS! THROW THE PI FLAG!!!!!” Rams bandwagoner Gary Carroll posted to Facebook on Sunday after a fourth-quarter pass to Brandin Cooks was broken up in the endzone.

On the next play, quarterback Jared Goff threw an interception, leading to these gems:

“FFS!!! That’s on you, refs!!!” posted Carroll.


“Good job refs on giving Brady another Super Bowl. I’m done with this bullsh*t , fixed league,” posted @NO1RamsFan, signaling the fan base is now down to 14-ish individuals, give or take 14.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,” tweeted @GotoHellGoodell who we believe is a Saints fan.

Dr. Christina Sullivan, an internist at Ochsner, said the mixture of salt and water in tears makes a perfect drink to combat the effects of a hangover. She said those tears have plenty of electrolytes and are similar to Gatorade.

“Plus, with the tears coming from Los Angeles fans, the tears also likely have a good amount of quinoa, kombucha, kale, since they come out of their eye’s smug veins, all of which will help lessen the hangover,” Sullivan said.