With crime on the rise and the city scrambling for answers, New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell reportedly has developed an out-of-the-box plan using marijuana smoke that she and her staff claim will significantly reduce the number of violent acts committed in the area, unlike her predecessor’s previous unsuccessful plan.
Cantrell today announced the creation of Weed It Out, a new initiative that will convert half of the city’s mosquito fog trucks into marijuana fog trucks in an effort to lull violent crime by facilitating a more tranquil environment.
“We’ve smoked, uh, surveyed the situation from every possible angle and this was found to be the most effective solution with the least opposition,” Deputy Mayor Peter Bake said.
According to medical experts, common symptoms of marijuana use are bloodshot eyes, increased heart rate, increased appetite, memory impairment, and difficulty paying attention or solving problems.
“The City has tried bringing in more cops, organizing midnight basketball, and offering mentors, but no one has ever tried something this groundbreaking.”
“The idea is to mellow out potential criminals and take away their motivation for doing anything other than eating, laughing, or hugging people.”
According to the mayor’s office, marijuana trucks will roll nightly in most parts of New Orleans, two to three times a day in high crime areas, and also nightly around the Superdome when its exterior color lights attract those under the influence.
Kenny Lee, a Mid City resident who became fed up with the recent string of murders, beatings, carjackings, and robberies in the area, has doubts about the initiative but remains optimistic.
“It’s great to see the city take an out-of-the-box approach,” Lee said. “I don’t know if it’s going to stop all the crime but I do know I’m going to open a burrito, peanut butter, pizza, Funyuns, and cookies stand on my corner.”
City Hall reports thus far no one has opposed the Weed It Out initiative, which is scheduled to roll as soon as 4:20 this afternoon.