New Orleans City Hall employees told to loaf from home tomorrow due to severe weather

New Orleans City Hall and other City employees are being told they can do nothing from home on tomorrow due to expected severe weather moving across the area.

The faster-than-anything-else-they’ve-ever-done-ever recommendation from officials comes in response to a moderate risk for severe storms on Wednesday with scattered severe storms with several storms producing not just tornadoes, but strong tornadoes with winds over 110 mph.

The move to close city buildings and services comes as regard for the safety of over thousands of mentally checked-out city employees whose bodies are at-risk.

Harry Husselbuck, spokesman for Mayor LaToya Cantrell, said City employees have been alerted they do not physically have to come into work and will be allowed to stay at home for as long as needed until feeling safe.

“Their [City Hall workers] bodies have been here but their minds aren’t, so we were concerned they may be oblivious to the risks the anticipated severe weather presents,” said Husselbuck.”

For those concerned about the plan possibly disrupting city services with so many employees out, Mayor Cantrell said citizens need not worry.

“We like to set a standard of service that our citizens can count on and, although our employees’ bodies will now join their minds at home in their warm beds, we think New Orleanians, as it relates to what they know, will feel comfortable also knowing absolutely nothing has changed,” said the mayor.