Mayor Cantrell to Travel to New Orleans

Mayor LaToya Cantrell to Travel to New OrleansRoss Parmly

Mayor LaToya Cantrell is poised to jet off to New Orleans today for an undisclosed meet-and-greet engagement.

According to insider sources, Mayor Cantrell is set to turnt up a reception with the powerful RatPAC, a green group whose increasing influence is said to have teeth. The meeting will allegedly occur at 715 S Broad Street, the group’s nest of operations.

While the mayor’s office remains tight-lipped about the specifics of the rendezvous, speculation runs rife amongst the city’s chatterati. Some speculate on the agenda revolving around pressing matters like libation development or free housing initiatives. Others, however, suggest a more mellow discussion, perhaps flavored with a hint of botanical enthusiasm.

“Let me be as blunt as possible relative to my travels,” Mayor Cantrell responded wryly to Neutral Ground News in a City of New Orleans statement sent last night at 1:30 a.m.

“As it relates to, I got this question before, but what I will say as it relates to travel, airfare upgrades, funding, destinations, delegates, the targeting, all of that, and as I’ve given a thought, you know, when I came in even being elected mayor and even prior to that, the city council, I’ve been center of countless trips, right, and I have always done work rendered on behalf of the City of New Or-lee-ans, and that’s what I’ll continue to do. I do know that this seems to be kind of prevalent relative to Louisiana leadership, you know, and I think that I am not exempt from that but relative to travel on behalf of the City Of New Or-lee-ans, I’ve been on trips, I’ll go on trips, and I’ll continue to do work rendered however they come.”

Amidst the haze of speculation, one thing remains clear: Cantrell’s trip to New Orleans has lit a fire of curiosity among residents, accustomed to glimpsing her exploits only through late-night press releases, YOLO social media posts, and Lee Zurik love letters. For now, answers are as elusive as the mayor herself.

“In my experience, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the jet bridge. In fact, in Miami, there was sand. Not green at all. From what I’ve heard, our grass is greener, relative to the colors. Therefore, it is vitally important, on behalf of the city, that I cultivate this relationship (RatPAC) for chronic benefit.”

According to her itinerary, Mayor Cantrell will depart New Orleans on a red-eye the following evening to a yet-to-be-disclosed location. She reportedly will also take a flight.