New Orleanians having trouble making ends meet have been begging city leadership for relief after months of tight restrictions, layoffs, and dwindling income along with recurring waves of coronavirus cases. Thanks to the efforts of Mayor LaToya Cantrell’s administration, down and out residents are now going to get the help they so desperately need.
City officials today announced a relief effort aimed at revitalizing the local economy while providing residents with financial stability through the issuance of city credit cards.
According to a statement released by Mayor Cantrell’s office, the “N.O. Limit$ city credit cards” will offer users unrestricted purchasing power and a zero accountability rate along with cardholder benefits such as access to tax evasion services, free VIP stays at Hard Rock New Orleans, effortless city permits, free balance transfers to the Cayman Islands, first dibs on street renaming allocation, annual cashback payoffs, discounts at city bars and restaurants, and a personal city hall concierge.
“I’ve been testing the pilot program [of the N.O. Limit$ city credit card] for a while now and I can say without a doubt that it will help the residents of New Or-lee-ans get back on their feet and put money in their pockets,” Cantrell said.
The mayor also noted how recent spikes in coronavirus cases will increase the likelihood of more and tighter restrictions as well as resident reliance on the government to relieve its causes and effects.
“We’re in Phase 2.759 and I don’t know when we’re going to reach Phase 2.760, so I can’t even begin to speak about Phase 3 or Phase 51 right now,” a visibly frustrated mayor said. “If y’all don’t get right with my rules I’m going to have to make more for your own good, ya heard me?”
When asked where the funds to support this groundbreaking relief effort will come from, Dewey Cheatem, the city’s Chief Financial Officer, said the city has already built the money collected from 1,356 yet-to-be-approved taxes into its budget for 2023.
“That’s not important right now but, look, it’s covered. People are hurting. They need this and they need this now. Just put it on the card.”
While the N.O. Limit$ city credit card is said to be exclusively for people living in New Orleans, if you bout it bout it say you bout it bout it and it’s yours. Officials say anyone anywhere will be able to obtain one as the city fought to have a no-paper-trail-honor-system included in the relief effort.
The cards will be available beginning early next year and disbursed alphabetically by last name, beginning with those named Cantrell and Wilder.