Held for over 96 hours, captives released from precipitous situation

Held for over 96 hours, captives released from precipitous situation

Louisiana Satire Network - Baton Rouge news, New Orleans news, Lafayette news, Houma news, Shreveport news, Louisiana news

A group of captives was released last night in New Orleans where they had been held since last Thursday by powerful syndicates, according to the New Orleans Police Department.

The high-pressure situation developed as the captives, who were held over 96 long hours before surprisingly being released, said they were forced to deliver scripted statements directly to the camera for hours on end with little-to-no sleep or food.

“They [captors] were planning to drag this out for as long as possible but sensed the end was near and let them go,” New Orleans Police Department spokesman Rusty Bellan said.

“Before they released them they resorted to providing the captives with distorted information to dampen their spirits, going so far as to ominously say it would be ‘unwise’ of them to attempt to go home.”

One of the many captives, who gave her name only as Margaret, said after the first couple of days conditions started to deteriorate and she soon didn’t know was real and what wasn’t.

“Things quickly went from clear to mostly cloudy,” said Margaret. “They told us that there was an isolated chance of about 10% Thursday, 20% Friday, and 15% Saturday that we maybe would see our homes and loved ones if we heeded their warnings. So, we all hunkered down and did our best to weather the situation. We’re now all home recovering, thank creole Jesus.”

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